kalituhan...

i was in deep confusion for the past few days...i went to my boo's house on my rest day (damn, hindi ko sya matiis!) coz i miss him so much...i went there...everything went ok--we spent that night together nakatambay lang sa seawol--just the two of us--and i just can't explain the happiness i felt while we were walking together all the way from their house up to the point of our destination..lam mu yun..that unusual feeling when you are with your loved one...sobrang sarap at saya ng feeling that it fills me up inside...we were talking about our future as we walk through the path thru seawol..the feeing is priceless...

i thought everything will be fine until i gotta go home, but i was wrong...the next morning i have read on his calendar a coded event..my bad, ang hilig ko kase mangalikot ng celfone e!! i just had this curiosity na tingnan lahat ng 25th day of the month sa phone nya kase he seems to be so fond of that number...kumbaga, i'm just checking kung ano bang relevance ng 25 sa buhay nya...until i get to see this entry that send shivers to my spine...it was august 25 and the caption says: birthday ng 25 ...i immediately had a strong feeling na para yun sa ex nya na pinka-kinaiinisan ko sa lahat (kase naman niloko sya nung lintek na babaeng yun) kase may nakaindicate na 2 yrs...i immmediately asked him kung anong meron sa araw na yun and he can't seem to remember--at first..pero inamin din nya nung huli after he checked on his notes na anniv nila yun...para akong binuhusan ng tubig kase nakita ko na ni birthday ko nga hindi naka-save sa calendar nya tas yung matagal nang tapos na relasyon na yun andun pa rin...i was thinking that i am being irrational and immature pero nanaig pa rin ang pagkainis ko sa sitwasyon...hurt syempre ang beauty ko...kaya walk out ako...sinuyo galore nya naman ako, in fairness naman at talagang mega pahid pa sya sa luha ko kase nga sa sobrang pagkainis ko sa sitwasyon napaiyak nako..haiz...tas ayun nga nagkaayos na rin naman kami nun ding mismong araw na yun...pero may pangamba nang lumamat sakin at sa tiwala ko...

i really wanna end up our relationship that day..but not knowing where to stand and what's the real score, i've changed my mind..it's better to be equipped with the info than to be left hanging and questioning for the rest of my life...

makalipas ang ilang araw--kahapon lang yun actually--nagkaron kami ng pagkakataong magkatext at nilinaw ko sa kanya ang mga issues that realy haunt me...kase ayoko naman na magkasira kami ng hindi ko man lang nalilinawan kung ano ba talaga ang real status namin db...kaya ayun..ok naman ang nangyari at naliwanagan ako..kahit papano napatawad ko na sya sa ginawa nya...at appreciated ko naman talaga lahat ng efforts nya kase nakikita ko namang he really wanna win my trust back...at ok na yun sakin...sapat na para mapatawad ko sya at makalimutan ang lahat ng sama ng loob ko sa kanya...

sadyang ang daming ups and downs ng aming relationship...ok na rin siguro to, at least i have all the opportunities to experience all these para matuto naman ako...hirap talaga pag mahal mo ang isang tao...haiz...musta naman yun db...hehehehe!!!!